Alone

How can you say
You want us to part?
When you know what we want
Deep down in your heart?
My heart it hurts
I'm feeling empty, broken -
My feelings crushed
Of all the things been spoken.

We had a fairy tale life
But you see a different side,
It still remains if you'd just see
See through the hurt and the pride.
My love I will love you
Always, even while struggling to mend,
When pushing me away
My feelings won't come to an end.

I thought you were the one
Saying you'll always be at my side,
But now I am being blamed
And have to take it in my stride.
We are two, involved in this
Struggling with this problem thrown
In our direction
And I am not in this alone.

I cannot be strong forever
Just as you always have seen,
My strength withers and dies
With every passing day that has been.
My tears have counted hundreds
Of days, hours, minutes of pain
Fears and anxieties arise
As I struggle to remain sane.

I wish you would see
How my heart is shattered
In a thousand pieces or more
Hoping to you that it mattered.
Without you it will be
A long, lonesome time
Of all my thoughts and emotions
Haunting, trapping me like a vine.

No arguing nor fighting
It’s my stupid heart-felt tale,
Of how much I feel for you
And how my heart now feels pale.
Yet do you take this
Deep into your heart?
Or will it be another
Fight that will start?

Of that I cannot think
And my heart’s wish for you -
All the best of emotions
Success and happiness too.
Am I lost, losing my way?
Somehow will I find my way back
Afraid to drift further from you
My dedication to you will remain on track.

This time which we have left
Should be treasured, seeing it clearly -
Never taking all for granted
How I appreciate you dearly.
As we go our separate ways
Knowing I didn't want this,
Wishing you the best for your life
I continue mine searching for bliss.

Hoping things could be different
But a pathetic hope it has been,
You’ve made your mind up to let me go
And I am forced to let go of our dream.
My heart, so un-mended
Can only stay as such,
Not wanting for anyone else
I never asked for much.

Except to keep our dream alive
Working through all on our way,
Our love supposed to be so strong
Hoping we would never stray.
Please remember how I feel
And know in your life that I tried,
All my best to help uplift you so
Never intending you to have cried.

Life has not been easy to me
Now to be dealt with another blow,
You say it’s all complicated
But good that we take it slow.
I have agreed, yes it's true
Though not easy to endure at all,
I respect you but hope you return
When you hear my heart's call.

Some people and circumstances
Have interfered in our bond,
Wish we could overcome and make it through
And happily come out strong.
My heart is struggling
So hard to come to terms,
But I cannot seem to let go
For the love in my heart that burns.

Fate has brought us together
Remember all we've been through -
Bad times are past, good times remain
From lessons learnt, we must stay true.
I love you, more than I have loved
Yet I wished you could be,
By my side through life's successes
And I could be with yours to see.

~ Quentin Jessen © 23 April 2010