Familiar Feelings

There we go again,
Those familiar feelings
Welling up inside of me
Rising quickly to the surface
Pushing, shoving
Almost manifesting
Showing itself
In many ways

In tears, pain,
Depression -
Crying
At the thought
Of yet another
Hurtful memory,
Sadness begins
Slowly eating away

Trying to reign over me
Beginning to break down
All hope,
Dreams and
Beautiful pictures
Of a life carefree
Solitude -
A bad idea!

Causing issues to
Yell at me!
Paranoia
To crush my views on
People, and
Other aspects
Of life, love and other
Important things

I will succeed!
Why let this hurdle
Influence my life?
I shall not allow
Anything,
Any person - friend or foe
Get in the way
Of my happiness

Pushing back
At the ominous thoughts,
Feelings,
And fears
I refuse to be victim
Of this darkness,
This stumbling block
Placed before me

Stopping - or trying to
Break my spirit,
Crush my dreams,
Letting me fall
Into despair -
No one around
Save a few precious souls
There for me

All here for each other
Supporting, assisting -
A blessed few
Whom grateful for...
Wishing the same fortune
A hundred times
More blessing bestowed!
Upon their lives

As I turn away from some
Remembering others
Saying thank you for being you
For supporting me
Making me the victor -
The conqueror
Of every one of my
Problems

Despair,
And depression
Goes out the window
I am a survivor,
And glad to know
I am not alone -
Glad you are by my side
Joy and happiness I've found!

~ Quentin Jessen © 25 July 2009